In the spirit of my new favorite website, I've decided to post my Texts from Last Night. Actually these are the funniest texts I've received in the past 7 days - most late at night.“Sushi suggestion was terrible. You should download ‘Ice Cream Paint Job’ it’ll make you feel better.”
“I feel like I’m getting annoying.”
“You contact me.”
“I feel like I text you too much.”
“Word. At least he had good teeth.”
“I reek of whiskey”
“Vaguely remember calling you earlier. 1000 apologies. I should not have been allowed in public. Drinking again now. Happy Easter.”
“Hit me baby one more time. Sorry I’m weird.”
“Act like we got cancelled on for the boat thing – trust me no questions.”
“I hate you.”
ME: “I hate you more.”
“Impossible.”
“Hang out tomorrow? Break your plans.”
ME: “Sorry we didn’t get to meet up! Tomorrow!”
“You really dominated the exclamation point today!!!!!!!!!”
“I’m taking a stretch limo home right now. Yeah, somehow talked him into a $20 ride. Sure is weird being the only person in here right now.”
“Girl screaming behind me at concert. Voice sounds like rape whistle. OK to joke about rape whistles?”
“Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?”
“Don’t be soft.”
“Do you Dubs.”
“That got way too aggressive last night…”
“Imma put it on ya Whitty”
“I may or may not be drunk texting you. Anyway, take care!”
“Add me on facebook, it will solidify our friendship.”
